Personal growth can be scary. So it’s natural to find yourself avoiding it. Here are 10 ways that can happen and how to embrace the changes of self-growth instead.
1. Denial. It’s difficult to grow when you don’t see the need. Listen to the quiet voice inside and to what your loved ones are saying. Get the support you need to see the truth.
2. Seeing yourself as a victim. If you’re always one-down, you can’t become the empowered person you are meant to be.
3. Substance abuse. Whether you’re self-medicating or seeking escape, the problems just don’t go away without the willingness to face them.
4. Self-loathing. Nothing banishes self-hatred faster than self-care. Choose in any moment the kindest path.
5. Blame. Pointing the finger means we never see our own role.
6. Defensiveness. This is a racket we swing against anything that suggests we might be at fault. Try to see “faults” as opportunities to grow.
7. Fear. Acknowledge the frightened parts of yourself, praise your courage, and be gentle.
8. Rage. Rage is a call for attention to our triggers, but sometimes we get stuck there. Accepting and working creatively with the feelings can help free you.
9. Busyness. Constantly moving al- lows no time for the reflection that lays the foundation for self-growth.
10. Unwillingness to admit error. As with defensiveness, if we stop judging “error” as wrong, an ever-expanding life awaits.
Joan Ferdinand Keleher MS, LCPC 