You could have a well-paying job or you could fail to make enough to cover your basic expenses. You could spend compulsively on unneeded things or barely spend at all, neglecting even basic self-care such as dental check-ups.
But whether you add to your debt because of freewheeling spending or chronic underearning, repeated debt results from dysfunctional or distorted subconscious attitudes and perceptions about money and self. These distortions could include:
• I’m not worthy of nice things or a living wage.
• I’m the greatest! I’m going to buy the best, whether I can afford it or not.
• I don’t understand money. I’m not smart enough to handle it.
• Money corrupts. If I have money, I’m bad.
• If I don’t spend a lot of money on family and friends, they won’t love me or know that I love them.
• I’m a special case. The system is actually stacked against me.
If any of these attitudes resonate and you’re having financial trouble, you may have a problem with compulsive debting. To help you determine if that’s the case, here are several warning signs, adapted from the 12-Step program Debtors Anonymous (DA):
1. Lack of clarity about your financial situation. Not knowing account balances, monthly expenses, etc.
2. Poor saving habits. Not planning for taxes, retirement or other predictable items, and then feeling surprised when they come due.
3. Compulsive shopping: unable to pass up a “good deal,“ purchasing on impulse, purchasing to feel better.
4. Struggling to meet basic financial obligations.
5. Living in chaos and drama around money, such as using one credit card to pay another or bouncing checks.
6. Overworking or underearning; taking jobs below your skill and education level; not billing for hours worked.
7. Living in self-imposed deprivation; denying your basic needs.
As with alcohol addiction, it is possible to recover from compulsive debting and underearning with the help of a trusted therapist or coach and programs such as DA. With help and support, you can face the truth of your financial situation, understand the roots of your behavior and begin to see gradual improvement in your finances. Most of all, you’ll feel better, no longer at the mercy of a compulsion you can’t control.
Joan Ferdinand Keleher MS, LCPC 